Bringing Home Trouble
by innocent-rebel
Summary: All she wanted to do was date. What she got was a whole mess of trouble. Coauthored by Aaron Smiley. Please R&R no flames
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: No one Laird and Eastman own the TMNT although with a couple of hackers…nah to easy. Joanovarc however is the Co-Created character of Aaron Smiley and innocent-rebel

A/N: Hi all, Aaron Smiley here. I bet your wondering what I'm doing in innocent-rebel's account huh? No. I'm not causing mischief, I'm the Co-author. Hope you guys like it.

"Dinner!" Mike's voice reverberated throughout the lair.

Joanovarc continued to lay on her bed absently chewing on the two tails of the white bandana that encircle her head. Subconsciously, she heard the noise of several pairs of green feet padding past on their way to the table. She continued to twirl the two bits off cloth with her three green fingers and bit at the carefully hand-sewn hems along the sides that kept the cloth from fraying and falling apart.

She sat their staring into space. Heedless of the noise and clamor the rest of her family was making.

Joanovarc was the youngest of five mutant turtles, or at least that seemed to be the rest of the family's expressed belief. Regardless of the fact that they'd all been in the same jar, at the same time, and were crawling in the same glowing ooze when Master Splinter found them. Somehow or other, she'd been dubbed the baby of the family, which seemed rather and insult to her maturity after living the past sixteen years with Mikey.

Of course, being the smallest of the five, didn't help things much. As if being a mutant turtle didn't make her tiny enough already, she still had to deal with Mother Nature's rule about females being smaller than males.

"Stupid Mother Nature...you'd think, being a girl, she woulda been on my side,"

Joan grumbled under her breath.

"Joanny! Get those out of your mouth."

Joanny jumped and hastily whipped the ends of the cloth out of her mouth. She blushed sheepishly, but relaxed when her eyes focused on Donatello's head peering in at her.

"Why?" She said, trying to hide her embarrassment with a playful comeback, "I know where they've been."

"Yeah," Don nodded, "the sewers."

Joanovarc rolled her eyes and smiled. Then her eyes darkened and she looked back at Don sternly, "You won't tell, will you?" It was an old habit she developed as a turtle tot and had supposedly dropped years ago. Mike would never let her hear the end of it if he found out she had been sucking on her bandana. Come to think of it, Raphael would probably give her a hard time. Between the two of them, the teasing would never cease.

Don grinned and shook his head, "Your weakness for gross childish habits is safe with me."

Joanny's grin resurfaced.

"So, you coming, down to dinner?" Don asked raising an eye-ridge at his sister, who still hadn't budged from her bed.

"It's dinnertime?" she exclaimed, prompty jumping off her bed, "I'm starved! Why didn't Mikey shout?" She shot past Don out the door, through the hall and galloped down the spiral staircase.

Don continued to stand in her doorway, absentmindedly scratching his the back of his head in a confused manner as he watched Joanovarc dash off to the dinnertable.

She'd spent the better part of the day tucked in her room, as she did nearly everyday, now, emerging only for meal, the bathroom and practice. He wondered to himself what she did in there, she had a computer and her own shell cell, but there was really no one besides April or Casey she would really want to contact via email or phone call. He'd noticed Master splinter expressing some concern on her new hermit-like lifestyle, only to get defensive responses and little other information. Quite frankly Don was worried about his baby sister. He sighed and started on his way back to the table.

&&&&&&&&

The table sat six. Master Splinter sat at the head, Joanny and Leo on his left and right, respectfully. Mike sat on the other side of Joanny and Raph on the other side of Leo.

When Don arrived the normal family chaos had already begun. Mike and Raph were arguing over who'd get the first warm, mushy bread roll while Leo reached in between them for the bread basket and offered a roll to Joanny and Master Splinter before taking one for himself and replacing the basket between his two arguing brothers, who hadn't even missed it. Master Splinter was attempting to start a dinner conversation that only Leo seems to be listening to. Either that or he'd finally caught on to the 'just smile and nod' trick. Mike finally gave up on Raph and began to stuff his face with as much mac'n cheese as he could fit on his plate, most of it falling out of his mouth and back onto his small mountain of orange colored noodles. Joanny wrinkled her beak in disgust;

scooching farther down the table. Don couldn't help but grin at his zanily bizarre family as he took his strategically placed seat between Raph and Leo.

Don glanced across the table at Joanny, she was pushing her steamed broccoli around her plate with a dented fork, one of the products of his early years in the engineering of robo technology. Let's just say that forks don't work well as robot arms. Not when the robot is trying to shake hands at sixty miles an hour.

Joan began glancing around at the members of the table, her darting eyes quickly met Don's stare. Joan glanced away just as quickly but again quickly decided against that and stared back at him.

"What?" she mouthed.

Don shrugged and turned his attention to his plate to begin shoveling whatever contents he'd mechanically placed there into his mouth. He grimaced as he bit into a large chunk of mac'n cheese powder that hadn't been mixed to it's full potential.

Across the table, Joanofarc closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and laid her fork down on her plate. She cleared her throat before interrupting the dinner conversation that had somehow sprung into a full fledged debate on the better action hero: Aragorn or Legolas?

"Master Splinter?"

"Yes, Joanovarc?" the old rat turned to her, leaving Leo to fend for Aragorn's sake against Raph and Mike

"I-I'd like to make a request..."

"Ooo, a request," Raph mocked, wiggling his fingers in the air and rolling his eyes. "Geez, Joanny, you're beginning to sound like Leo!"

"Well at least she isn't picking up on any of your foul language," Leo shot back.

"Aww, our little Joann'ys too sweet to swear," Mike said nudging his sis with his elbow, "Ain'tcha Joanny?"

"I'm just as tough as you guys are!" She protested.

"You're such a goody-two shoes, Leo" Raph barked at his brother.

"We don't wear shoes, Raph!"

"That was the stupidest comeback I ever heard, Leo!"

"At least I'm not a shell-for-brains!"

"Suck-up"

"Ninja Dropout!"

"Then if you're so tough how come you didn't fight in the Battle Nexus?" Mike jabbed playfully back at Joan.

"Because I was out numbered by a five to one vote that I wasn't ready!"

Master Splinter shook his head and began to rub his eyes with his hands. He'd wait for the steam to evaporate for now, but if his children got out of hand, he'd intervene.

"If you'd practiced more instead of watching your teen dramas and reading magazines, you'd b able to improve quicker," Leo pointed out, turning away from Raph towards her.

"Arrogant Tyrant," Raph sneered, leaning over Don.

"Wow, Raph," Leo taunted, "I didn't know your vocabulary stretched beyond certain four letter words!"

"Powerhungry pig!"

"Oh and you do those words starting with the same letter thing, too. Clever; for

a hothead!"

Mike turned back to Joanny, leaving Don to deal with the bickering brothers.

"Aww, don't worry about it. You'll improve. Besides, you'll always have us to protect you." He reached out his hand to give her bandana tails a brotherly tug, but quickly recoiled, his hand at their touch. "Eww! Joanny, your tails are wet!" He looked at her suspiciously, "You weren't-"

"I was not!"

"You were sucking on them!" Mike's face turned into a grin as he began to laugh. "Aww, widdle Joanny need a hug?" he teased, talking baby talk. Joan began shouting at him and punching his arm as hard as she could to make him stop, but the orandge-clad turtle just kept on laughing. Then a realization hit him, "Wait if you were sucking on them, then I-EW!" He began to furiously rub his hand with his napkin, that would have normally remained unused on the table.

Meanwhile across the table Leo and Raph were about ready to rip each other's shells off, kept separated only by Donnie who was trying to calmly spoon mac n' cheese into his mouth.

Master Splinter had finally had enough of the ruckus. "Enough!" he said, raising his hand into the air as a signal for all noise to cease.

No one noticed, besides Don; but that didn't help the situation much, as he was the only quiet one to begin with. "SILENCE!" Master Splinter raised his voice. The entire table fell silent. All five turtle zipped their lips and sunk down into their chairs. "I will not tolerate this bickering any longer, tonight." Master Splinter looked sternly around the table. "You will learn to treat each other with courtesy and respect, do you understand?"

Five teenage mutant turtle heads nodded and chorused, "Yes, sensei."

"Good," Splinter nodded. He turned back to Joan, "What was it you wished to

request, my daughter?" Mike began packing any edible substance into his mouth again and Raph busied himself with chugging his, now cold, green tea. Donnie swallowed the last of his meal and Leo sat quietly staring down into his plate.

"I wanted to ask if- if you'd allow me to-- go on a..." Joan subconsciously lowered her voice, "date."

Raph spewed his green tea across the table, Leo's head snapped up with a startled look on his face, Mike started to choke on his food, Don gaped at her with eyes as huge as saucers. Joan glanced nervously around the table and slunk farther down into her seat as ten eyes stared back at her in stunned disbelief.

To be continued…

A/N: OOOOOH! Well ladies and gentlemen, Joany has now just asked a question that most fathers and brothers fear more than…well something really scary itself. Well what'd you think? Please review


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: No one owns anything, we are both poor little children who like to write TMNT fic's and mess with their lives, so don't sue. Joanovarc is a co created character of Aaron Smiley and innocent-rebel.

A/N: Thanks for reviewing all! Please enjoy for why else do we write…

Clearing his throat Master Splinter asked "My daughter, would you please repeat that a bit more audible?" he asked hoping he hadn't heard what he thought came out of his daughters mouth

Taking in a deep breath and sitting back up straight in her chair, the young girl tried to loose everyone's gaze but her fathers as she spoke.

"Would you allow me to go out on a date?" she finally asked eyes doing all the pleading her voice could not

Before Master Splinter could answer a rush of laughter escaped his sons causing Joany to blush and start to slide down again, but she caught herself hearing what they were saying.

"A date Joany?" Raph hooted "Yeah I'm so sure you got asked out on a date." He snickered

"And why is that so hard to believe!" she demanded growing red in face from anger now and not embarrassment , she should have really waited to ask her father when they were alone or when he was sleeping.

"Oh c'mon Joan, your minds been warped or something. Besides the fact that wittle girls don't date, Who would ask you out? Ever since that whole alien invader thing, we've public enemy number one." Mikey smiled as Don and Leo tried to control their chuckles once looking at their father

"Well see, he's not exactly from around here." She answered

"Then where's this guy from Ohio, Texas, Nevada, oh no, he's not from Jersey is he?" Mike teased again

Mumbling Joany was beginning to regret bringing this up at all but she had to tell them "Texas, Nevada, Jersey, another dimension." She muttered casually looking down a little

Then the laughter ceased as it hit everyone, another dimension? But the only time they'd been to other planes were the battle nexus, and that time drako and the domyios son came back merged, all giving her startled looks Master Splinter began

"And whom may this young man be Joanovarc?" he questioned a bit uneasy with the answer he may receive

Before she could open her mouth though Leo broke in "Its NOT Usagai, is it?" he demanded

"No! It's…"

"Oh it had better not have been Gen! That lousy good for nothing…"Raph began muttering before having enough his sister interrupted them all

"NO IT IS NOT! And second EW." She stated rising a little

"Then who is it?" Don asked trying to calm her down

"None of your guy's business's, and if I recall I only asked for fathers opinion, not any of you chowder heads." she stated flatly deciding to save any more advanced language for later on when their Sensei wasn't around then turning to him asked again "please?"

Sighing Splinter always knew that one day his children would grow up and want to do such things, but even though he knew that maybe this was a bit selfish he never wanted them to, especially his youngest. Silently he wondered if all parents, namely fathers went through what was happening to him right now.

"My daughter…" he began cautiously "I am thankful that you have found a suitor that you deem worthy of yourself, but I do not feel that you are old enough to take on this endeavor." He answered wishing they were alone so that he could explain more to her his concerns

"SENSEI!" she cried out "How can you say I'm too young to date, but give permission for everyone else to do the same thing? We're all almost exactly the same age and yet I'm continually treated like I can't do anything for myself." She stormed rising from the table and leaving in a rush fists clenched tightly at her sides as she headed for her room.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Once inside her room she began turning her stereo on blasting the music to an extreme level, a habit she'd unfortunately for everyone's ear drums, picked up from Raphael

"This is so unfair!" she grouched to herself "Joany your to sweet to date, Joany your to little do this. Joany wait until you grow up a little more then you'll understand." She said mockingly repeating what her brothers had always said to the over the years sighing she fell back on her bed "Is what normal teenagers go through?" she mused out loud

"Probably not." A voice said behind her as she whipped around to see Donny standing in her door

"EERRR! Don't you people ever knock?" she asked turning away "Seriously I get No privacy here."

"Well with that music as loud as it is, you probably didn't hear me knocking for the past two minutes." He smiled coming in, turning down the volume to low as he then took a seat next to her

"Its not fair." She started hoping that it didn't sound as childish as she thought

"Life's not fair." He responded

"I know that, but why couldn't life ever unfair to me in a situation that would actually be in my favor?" she asked with a huff.

"Because then technically, life would be fair so it is no longer unfair making that statement invalid. You can't be fair, if you're being unfair."

"Say what?" she asked slightly confused

Letting out a chuckle Don leaned back a bit "Nothing sis, just…why are you so suddenly wanting to grow up so fast?" he asked thoughtfully

"Dude ever since that night with the mousers, we all grew up. It's just taking everyone more time than it should to realize that I experienced that to. Especially you and Raph." She added watching her brothers expression change to annoyed

"What about me and Raph? We take care of you just like the others." Don replied a bit huffed

"Oh come on, I'm surprised neither one of you has put a beeper on me…" she paused noticing the turtle's expression as he looked away uncomfortably "That was YOU!" she demanded

"What was?" the ninja asked innocently as if that would help

"Ohh I just knew that you two had had something to do with that beeping sound that was constantly going off in my anklet! Which I guess I should have known since you gave it to me. UGH! What's it take for a girl to get some privacy and respect around here huh?" Joany demanded standing up and pacing the room fumed

"Uhhh…well I guess I'll be leaving now, so bye." Don said as he quickly fled the room just missing being hit with a pillow

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Outside the purple masked turtle began contemplating his sister's reasoning's. True they always protected her, maybe more than she needed and they constantly seemed to be pointing out what she couldn't do yet. Maybe she had a valid point. But dating? No way! After all _they_ didn't know the guy, how could he know if this guy wasn't just some slimy jerk? He couldn't and that's were he put his foot down! No way was his baby sister going to date and that was final…

"Donatello will you please go get your sister please?" Master Splinter suddenly asked pulling him out of his thoughts

"Uhh, sure Sensei." He said bowing then it hit him as he went back to her room. 'Oh please don't cave father, please don't cave in on this one.' he thought as he cautiously turned the door knob to her room.

A/N: Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: We do not own TMNT, or any related characters.

A/N: Aaron here. Back again! I can't tell you how much this story is to write, thanks for all your reviews, guys! Glad to hear you like it!

The second Don's nose was back through the doorway, he was assaulted by a second pillow.

"I'm distressed, not deaf!" Joan cried indignantly with a hint of teenage girl melodrama.

She hefted the last pillow from her bed. Don chuckled as he ducked out of the room. He silently thanked master Splinter for giving the sais to Raph and not Joan, her aim was deadly accurate. Don peeked his head into Splinter's chamber.

"She's coming."

Splinter nodded and dismissed his son while he waited for his daughter to arrive.

&&&&&&

Joanny flopped back onto her plastron and sighed before rolling herself off the bed.

She poked her head out of the room cautiously, not wanting to alert her brothers of her emergence from her room. She'd had enough conversation on the dating topic for one day. In fact she'd had enough to last her a good twenty years, she smiled absently to herself, because there was no way they'd let her alone on that subject for a life time.

The coast was clear. Raph and Mikey were head to head in a vicious Halo battle. Don had already managed to absorb himself in his latest project, whatever the heck that heap of metal was supposed to be. Meanwhile Leo was in the middle of the dojo perfecting yet another kata, done, to her great advantage, with his eyes closed.

Joan slid the door to Master Splinter's room open without so much as a sound and quickly slipped inside, shutting it behind her. When she turned she saw Splinter sitting on the ground next to a low wooden table on which had been placed a tea pot and some tea cups.

"You wanted to see me, Father?" Joan asked.

Master Splinter gestured for her to join him on the floor next to the table.

"Tell me, Joanovarc, why it is you feel you are not equal to your brothers?"

The question caught Joan slightly of guard. She fumbled for her words

"Well, I uh, you all... You treat me like I'm a baby. Everyone in this household is on special alert watch over me. I can't go any where or talk to anyone or do anything with out someone around to make sure I'm ok. I've been practicing ninjitsu with Leo, Raph, Don and Mikey as long as they have and yet everyone's convinced I'm still a klutz of a beginner." Joan's voice started speeding up, getting out the thoughts she'd often contemplated alone in her room,

"I'm not a child anymore!" Her voice grew louder to match the speed. "You all treat me as if I'm incapable of doing anything myself, like I can't go any where without protection. Like I'm not old enough to handle exactly what my brothers can! You let them fight! You let them go topside alone! You let them see the girls of their fancy!" she stopped and added, "The ones that we know, anyway. It's just not fair!"

Joan finished her rant and immediately dropped her eyes and blushed at her outburst. "Sorry, sensei." she muttered halfheartedly. Her rage of words was uncalled for but it had been the truth.

She shifted her weight uncomfortably. Master Splinter continued to sit calmly on the floor eyes fixed on his daughter's face which only made Joanny squirm all the more.

Silence reigned over the room. It seemed Splinter had retreated into the far reaches of his mind, his expression unreadable, as usual when he fell deep into thought; leaving Joanny waiting anxiously for his response.

"Perhaps," Master Splinter spoke finally, causing Joanny to start in surprise; "your brothers and I have been too overprotective of you..."

Joanny glanced over at her father in disbelief.

"What?" She squeaked.

"I said, perhaps your brothers and I have been too overprotective of you. It is true we wish to keep you out of harm's way, but maybe too much so. You must learn independence and it seems you have voiced your opinion that you are ready for such lessons."

Joanovarc sat there for a moment on the floor, dumfounded as Splinter reached out and poured them each a cup of tea. She was tempted to pinch herself, just to make sure the present conversation was real.

Joan had been expecting weeks of fighting, bickering, pouting, door slamming, and other childish acts until her family would sigh one last time and agree to let her grow up. But now, after a mere five ten minute conversation (most of which spent in pondering silence) her freedom from warily over precautious family was hers for the taking.

"Tea?"

"Huh?" Joan whipped her head up and blushed; realizing she'd taken on Master Splinter's habit of spacing out.

"Tea?" Master Splinter patiently asked again.

"Oh, yeah, sure." Joan reached out and grabbed her cup and began to drink the bitter liquid her family affectionately referred to as green tea and began to sip, carefully minding not to scald her tongue.

"Um, Sensei?" She ventured after a few more moments of silence.

Master Splinter raised his eyebrows and waited for her to continue.

"Now that you've decided to let me grow-up and all, do you think I could, you know," Joan glanced nervously away from her father's steady gaze, "have that date?" Joan bit her lip anxiously.

"Who is this suitor of which you speak?" Master Splinter asked without hesitation.

"Well, I uh, met him at the battle Nexus while you were all having an adventure..." Joan stopped herself as her voice went sour from missing out on all the 'fun'.

"Yes, you mentioned something like that at dinner." Splinter nodded.

"And um, his name is uh, Kagai Hirestukan."

"How is it that you intend to meet with such a being that I can only assume lives galaxies if not dimensions away?

"He um, mentioned his race has a teleport device thingy and could visit earth at any time if I agreed to let him take me out for a night."

"I assume, then, you have been keeping contact, somehow, with this young man..."

Master Splinter trailed off waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, I actually have been, you know, emailing and stuff." Joan glanced down at her hands.

"Thus the reason you now spend so much time in your room, alone..."

Joan nodded.

"In his dimension, they're rather sophisticated in technology and can work nearly any system in our universe..."

Splinter nodded knowingly.

"So, date? Yes or no?" Joan asked directly on last time, wanting more than anything to get out of the room and out of the hot-seat.

"I believe that it might be best to bring the young man or being to our home to meet our entire family."

"Sensei!" Joan whined, "I thought you were going to be a little more on my own!" She slumped down, pouting.

"And after a analyzing your suitor, perhaps we shall entertain the idea of you dating."

Joan's eyes and ears perked up, "Really?"

Splinter nodded.

"YES!" Joan shrieked.

Outside the chamber in the Lair, four male teenage mutant ninja turtles looked p from their various activities to see a brilliantly smiling Joan exit Splinter's room and skip off to her own, but not before she pointed her forefinger out at all of them and yelled, "IN. YOUR. FACE!"

Don, Leo, Mike and Raph glanced 'round at each other and shrugged, wondering what the shell had happened now.

To be continued…

A/N: Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: We do not own the TMNT, they belong to others. Joanovarc however is the co-created character of Aaron Smiley and innocent-rebel.

A/N: Hey ya'll innocent-rebel here. Thank you guys so much for reviewing. Blame the inspiration for this chapter on Happy Days. If you're a fan of the show, then you'll see why at the end. Hope you enjoy, for that is why we write…

"What the shell was that all about, Sensei?" Raphael asked continuing to flip through channels

"It was nothing my son, I just believe your sister is joyous for her upcoming date." The aged Master spoke with a sigh as he sat down next to his son's

"Ok…wait, what! A DATE!" Raph mouth gaped open as he turned to face his Father along with his brothers gaze shooting across the room at the aged rat

"Master Splinter, are you feeling ok?" Leo asked concerned what happened to not old enough? He wondered looking like he was watching a train wreck in slow motion

Splinter smiled slightly taking in all their looks, and he thought he had been over protective. "My sons, I believe that your sister has been feeling as of late that we do not deem her as capable enough to do what can be done." He paused looking at both his quiet and hotheaded son's more so than the others before continuing "And that is wrong. I am guilty of this myself, but I cannot deny that all of you are growing up and that includes Joanovarc, that last point could be something we all need to remember." He finished awaiting the protest's to begin which his two middle children started on immediately

"But…how do we even know this guy? I mean we've never met him before! He could be a mercenary for all we know!" Don exclaimed from his seat only will power stopping him from standing up at the shock

"EXACTLY! Don's got a good point, we don't know this guy or where he comes from! And since I'm gonna assume she met him at the Nexus. Shut it Mikey." Raph pointedly glared at his little brother before continuing his rant "There was a lot of shady characters there, and if I know anything about being shady its that a lot of em ain't exactly the best out there." He finished as Leo eyed him and Don who was rapidly nodding his head in agreement warily, wondering where in the world did this Mother hen act had come from

Turning his gaze to Mikey he saw the orange ninja still in a daze mouth open as if it was a target of some kind. Sighing the eldest turned to their father and tried to gather all the respect he had earned in the years into his voice and one plea. "Sensei, while I do believe that she is capable I also have to agree with Raphael and Donny. We know nothing of him, his past, his plans for the future, his fighting skills, honor level or even what he looks like how can we just let her go?"

"My son's I know this is difficult for you all as it is for me, but we must trust Joanovarc for the trained ninja and sensible thinker that she is."

"It's not her we don't trust," Mikey finding his voice

"It is her suitor, yes I understand Michelangelo, that is something that I expect even human's deal with when it comes to this matter, but there will be plenty of time for meeting and evaluation since their first…meeting shall take place here." He paused noticing the small look of wanting to 'help' their sister cross over in their eyes. "And this fact alone means that after we have all become acquainted you are to respect your sister and her privacy by leaving them both alone. And before you even ask Raphael, yes that includes the boy and any attempt at dismembering." He finished finally as he left for his room to return meditating 'That went over better than thought.' He mused entering his chambers and leaving four sons out alone.

&

Once they were sure he was gone Mikey immediately stood up and ready to take action, thus began his army styled pacing and voice. "Alright soldiers, listen up! We have here a code section 441! A.k.a. little sister dating! We need plans pronto! Soldier Donatello, we need technology, surveancle and back round information on this guy stat! Sargent Leonardo, we need a plan and strategic operation on the double! And General Raphael, we need you to recruit magot Jones into the fight and come up with stealth manuviers for this guy! Now lets move soldiers!" Mikey finished as his brothers continued to stare at him like he was nuts. Not that far from the truth either.

"Or," Leonardo started "We could just trust Sensei's judgment on this one and keep an eye on the guy when he comes over here. And get Joany to spend some time training so she'll be ready in case something goes amiss."

"Sergeant Leonardo, your honorably discharged for being an idiot." Raph stated snidely as he folded his arms over his plastron and kept Mikey's gaze one eye ridge raised in amusement at his brother's antics

"I don't know about background information, but I think I can retrieve some old files off of her computer and intercept any oncoming mail, as for surveillance." Don smiled mischievously "Take your pick as to just how advanced you want this thing." He smirked finishing as he got up to leave and go to his lab

"Hold on there Don, I'm coming with to make sure you and Raph refrain from putting any beepers on her again." Leo stated following muttering 'Though not a bad idea.' To his younger brother

"Can he do that?" Mike asked

"Do what?" Raph looked at his brother quizzically

"Well you just discharged him so, is he still allowed to do that?"

"Mikey, you're an idiot." Raph responded rolling his eyes as his younger brother turned to leave

"Where are you going, shell-for-brains?" Raph questioned seeing his brother begin to disappear towards the youngest's room

"I'm going to get Joany, if she's gonna date this guy then she has a lot to learn." He smirked giving his hotheaded brother an uneasy feeling about just what kind of lesson his brother would be teaching and his part in it.

&

"Mikey!" Joan whined as she was dragged from her room "I already did training along with an extra hour today. I don't need anymore."

"That was different, now your going to get real training." He responded coming back into the living room and gratefully finding Raph still there performing sets of pushups.

"So I hear you got a date?" Raph grunted as he went down again

Joany sighed nodding and hoping that he wasn't going to start anything again. "Yes Raph I have a date. Deal with it."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just make sure this guy your brining over is up on his health policy payments." He muttered repeating the procedure that he had been of the past five minutes

With a no expression look on her face Joany walked over to her brother and paused for a moment, before when he went up again, swiftly kicking his arm out from under him causing the red banded turtle to make sudden contact with the floor.

Raph was up in an instant glaring daggers at the youngest and a now smirking mike, had it been anyone else he would've pummeled them, but it wasn't. Sighing he let out a low growl as he sat down on the couch awaiting whatever plan his brother had to take place.

"Ok now what is this that you said about 'real training'?" Joany asked suspiciously as eyeing both her brothers

"Ok well you know all about ninja training and stealth and that's all good, but hey this is dating so now we'll be showing you the moves that guys will try to pull and how you are to react to them." he finished though it was obvious that Raph was only half listening and in his mind planning a way to just pummel the guy head on "I'll be the guy, Raph you're the girl." Mikey stated

At the words Raph you're the girl, the red masked turtles eye ridges went straight up as he snapped out of the oblivious state he'd been in. Shooting his brother a look of murder, Raph found his voice and asked his brother to please restate that.

"You're the girl, Raphie, that's just how its going to need to work." Mike stated flatly as Joan bit her lip to keep from laughing who would have ever thought that her tough hotheaded brother, who even as a kid refused to cry when he'd broken his arm was now being made to play the part of a girl.

"Nu uh, Mikey! No way in shell am I gonna…"

"Its for Joany. And look on the Brightside, you get to beat me up a little. Huh? Huh?" Mike insisted as Raph finally giving in the desire of wanting his sister safe winning over his ego as he sat down on the couch and awaiting what he knew would be a humiliating experience as his brother explained then sat down

"Now first thing this guy will mostly try to do is this." Mikey smiled yawning and putting his hands over his head and one arm now resting over his brother's shoulder "Then here's what…Raph, come on man get into character a little here." Mikey stopped looking at his brother

"What?" the red one growled low as he stared at his brother, this was just to much

"C'mon bro, you know nothing about acting, get into character, you're a girl on a date with the most handsome guy you can imagine." Mike knew he was pushing it but suddenly he knew this was just going to be way to much fun

Raph caught himself mid air punch as he relented and put it back down "If Leo or Donny EVER find out about this…" he quietly roared the unfinished threat

"They won't now start acting like little girl. No offense Joany." He smirked looking at a less than amused Joan hearing the comment

Then Raph did what no one expected, he giggled. That was right, Hamato Raphael, street fighter, trained ninja and feared vigilante giggled.

"That's better." Mike snickered as he could see the vein throb in his brothers head as they continued "Now my arms over the shoulder like this, you don't like it, so what do you do? Raph."

Trying his best to do an impression though he wasn't sure why himself, he smiled forcefully as he then elbowed Mikey straight in the ribs then followed up with a back hand to the snout

"That's…good." Mike rasped out as he then tried another move this time though Raph put him in a headlock and flipped him over

These antics continued for about five minutes before then finally Mikey said wheezing from being hit so many times "Alright, now we come to the one part of the date when the guy will attempt the unthinkable. Give you a kiss."

Before Mike could say another word he felt Raph's callased hand on his face palm open "Don't even think about it!" he ordered pushing his brother's face away from his own.

"Oh c'mon Raph, I'm not going to make contact."

"The shell you are!" the tempermental youth practically roared

"Look, we are doing this for Joany, now suck it up, or she could wind up in this very position." Mike frowned using his brothers over protectiveness to prey on

"Fine." Raph grimaced as he looked away not able to even think about the time he was going to get after this

After a few minutes of Mikey subltely putting his arm around Raph again he leaned in closer, knowing this was going to hurt even though he **wouldn't **even think of making contact just as Raph was about to deck him, they both heard a sound that froze them

"Raphael! Michelangelo! Please come with me." They heard their father say as he stopped by the couch looking less than amused at the training they were giving their sister.

To be continued…

A/N: Well you know what to do. Please leave a review.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: We do not own the TMNT, and are just two little girls who enjoy writing about them and messing with their lives so suing would get you nowhere! Jaonovarc however is the mutually created character of Aaron Smiley and innocent-rebel

A/N: Hey guys Aarons chapter here. thanks for reviewing it really does mean a lot.

Within 15 seconds of setting foot into Master Splinter's chamber, Raph quickly decided that even Bishop's dissecting lab would have been a more comfortable place. Raph was red as his bandana as he and Mike spent the first twenty or so minutes trying to explain the strange sight their very worried Sensei had seen was not what it looked like. This followed by a long lecture, on Splinter's part, on not harassing their sister and refraining from any more 'lessons' in the future, even if they were well intentioned and for her own good.Raph was relieved to finally be set free by dismissal. He rose from his knees and glanced over at Mike who looked like had enjoyed the talking to about as much as he had. Raph shook his head swearing never to follow one of Mike's plans again and wanting to oblige the nagging feeling to hermitize himself in his room. At least not everyone knew what'd happened. Leo and Donny would never let him have any peace if they did. Raph placed his three-fingered hand on the door, sliding it back slowly and peering out. Thankfully Sensei would drop the matter after one talking-to. Mike had the impression from Raph's glare that he was under pain of death if he spoke one word about it, and Joanny...

Raph slid the door open a little farther and stepped out to see Leo leaning against the couch grinning at him. Joanny and Don sat on the couch, their heads turned around staring at Raph and Mikey exiting the chamber of doom. Don snickered, Joanny smirked happily. Raph's heart dropped. And Joanny... Joanny would use whatever information she had to make his life miserable just for the fun of it all.

"So, Raph," Leo smiled trying not to burst into laughter, "Anything you want to tell us?" Raph hated it when Leo smiled that cocky way he did. There's nothing Raph would have rather done than wipe it off his blue brother's face, but the last thing he wanted was to get dragged back to Splinter's quarters for another lecture on fighting.

"Not really, Leo," Raph glared over at Joanny who only smirked bigger. She laughed to herself and, seeing everyone's attention was fully focused on Raph, managed to slip silently away, leaving her set-up to play out on its own.

She sped upstairs into her room and crashed onto her computer chair. Clicking the little yellow man icon on her desktop and leaning back as her Instant Messaging logged in. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table. 8:43 pm.She glared at the AOL window on her computer in hopes of speeding the process up.  
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Don grinned widely, "So Raph, Casey called and wanted to know if we wanted to do another guys night out. You know go to a movie or sports game or something, but maybe we should leave you home with Joanny so you two can have some fun with your girly stuff."

"Yeah," Leo agreed enthusiastically, "We'll get you some chic flicks and ice cream."Raph growled and glared at Mike, the starter of it all, who could only shrug helplessly. Leo chuckled a bit, "Then maybe-"

"Shut up, Leo!" Raph yelled, his blood beginning to boil.

Leo smiled cockily again, "I guess this explains why your always so emotional."

"Oh, I got you emotional right here!" Raph started towards his older brother.

"You know, Raph, you did make a pretty convincing girl," Mike grinned widely, "You wouldn't happen to have had some previous practice at it would ya?""Mike!" Raph growled, turning from his advance on Leo and lunging for the smug looking orange bandana-ed goofball. "Eep!" Mike shrieked in a most undignified, girly manner.Raph tackled Mikey, the both of them rolling onto the ground.

"Take it back, Mike!" Raph roared.

Don chuckled, watching from a safe distance. Leo smirked and winked at Don, then turned back to observe the tussle.  
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8:46 PMJoanny rested her head against the computer screen with a dull Thunk as the IM re-re-re-re-re-tried for a connection.Dial-up sucks.

"Stupid computer," she muttered.The process started over again"Aghhhhh!" she closed her eyes, trying to send a mental message from her brain into the screen."Work!" she growled at it.  
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"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow..." Mike complained.

"Take it back!"Don watched in amusement for several more minutes until a familiar dull beep caught his ear. He looked up over in the direction of his computer. He reluctantly left Leo to observe the rest of the match and ambled over to his homemade console.

"Hey, quit it you guys!" he yelled, quickly taking a seat at his computer, making several clicks her and there, watching the screen intently. Leo ambled over, but the two other turtles ignored him and continued the roughing."I said take it back!"

"You guys!" Don pleaded, making a couple clicks here and there with the mouse. He sighed.

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"YES!" Joan pumped her fist in the air as her buddy-list popped up on screen. She held her breath for a split second. Please be on she mentally pleaded. She released her breath in a relived sigh. He was there.  
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"What's up?" Leo asked, peering over Don's shoulder. Noting Don's agitated face he barked at Mike and Raph, "Knock it off, you two!"Raph threw Mike into a headlock and stopped the fight long enough to glance up in Leo's direction.

"What?" he whined irritatedly.

"Don's got something," Leo explained sternly, turning back to the computer. Raph waddled Mike over to the computer, refusing to relinquish his temporary power over his brother.Ok," he growled, "What's going on?"

"We've made contact!" Don announced.

"What? To the aliens?" Mike asked, squirming in Raph's grip. "Hate to break it to you, Don, but we've already met plenty of 'em."

"No shell-for-brains!" Don sighed, "Joanny is IMing her boyfriend as we speak!"  
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KuNoIcHi: Hey, how r u?

OutofthiSworld257: Good. u?KuNoIcHi: Just dandy, thnx.

Outofthisworld257: U ask yur dad yet?Joan paused as she tried to think of something funnily witty to type. Drawing a blank she just punched in "yes."

Outofthisworld257: So?

Joan paused again, staring at the screen

KuNoIcHi: Due 2 powers beyond my control u have hereby been summoned 2 meet my family and b evaluated by them like a piece of meat.

Joan sat back and held her breath. Would he agree? Or was it too big of a request? Did he even want to meet her family? On the other hand, did she want her family to meet him!

Outofthisworld257: Sure. when?

Joanny breathed a sigh of relief and hurriedly typed in the date and time before he could change his mind or she could wake up from the strangely wonderful dream/nightmare she was having.

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The next morning Joanny set her alarm an hour earlier than usual.At 6:00 AM the buzzer sounded. In the dark Joanny's hand groggily searched for the snooze button. Finally her fingers found the annoying device and punched the off button.

She sat up in bed rubbing her eyes then glaring at her clock. Finally she threw the covers off herself and rolled out of bed. Her bare feet recoiled form the touch of the freezing concrete floor. The cold, early morning air breezing throughout the lair made her shiver. At that point, Joan seriously considered going back to sleep, but there was work to be done. Still in the dark she reached into the deep depths under her bed. She blindly groped around, pushing aside stacks of her collection of various magazines and old toys she'd long grown out of but couldn't bear to send back to the junkyard. Eventually she took out a small shoe box. The contents inside rattled around as she hugged the box to her plastron with one arm and continued her fishing, drawing several magazines from the abyss underneath her bed, she straightened her legs and started to slip silently out her bedroom door into the pitch black hallway.

On her way out the door, one of her legs brushed against her tonfas she'd left leaning against the door. Mentally shrugging, she gathered them up in her arms as well. She had a good hour till the rest of her family awoke, but if her mission went overtime, she wouldn't have to waste any time getting ready for practice.

Joan slunk silently down the hall and slipped quietly into the bathroom and quietly shut the door behind her before flipping on the light. She blinked several times against the sudden brightness and had to squint as she dumped her belongings around the sink.

Joanny took a long look at herself in the mirror. She'd been waiting to try this for a long time. Reaching for the shoebox, she removed the lid and peered inside at her long harbored treasures. A heap of old discarded make-up smiled back at her. No one knew she'd started to collect the stuff some six months back. She'd never hear the end of it if any of her brothers heard and Joanny wasn't about to risk finding out her father's opinion on her wearing the stuff. Joan balanced the open box on the rim of the sink and began to sort the various bottles, capsules and compacts into two catagories: useables and unuseables. She picked out a small compact labeled "concealer", figuring it probably wouldn't be green, she placed it in the unusable pile. Next she picked up a tube of lipstick; useable. Curious as to the color, she pulled off the top and made a face.

Once red, the lipstick had been smushed up into the top of tube. White spots of mold were beginning to grow on it as well. Jaonny grimaced as she replaced the top and placed it along with the concealor into the unuseable pile. A stick of mascara: unusable. Joan silently cursed being born without eyelashes. The sorting went on and on.Ten minutes or so later she found herself with a great deal less of usable products than she'd expected. Two lip glosses, blue and pale pink eyeshadows, another tube of red lipstick, a eyeliner pencil and some blush along with a large brush with which to apply it. Dumping the discarded items back into the shoe box for later disposal, she gave herself another long look in the mirror.

She bit her lip scanning her face and trying to imagine it differently. She reached for a magazine and opened it up flipping around a couple pages, trying to find an example to copy. Once again the difference in skin color came back to haunt her. She was on her own. So much for her brilliant plan.

Not really having had much experience in applying makeup she picked up the nearest item: lipstick. At least she knew what to do with it. A dark red line appeared on her lips as she ran it across them and smacked them together as she popped the cap back on. Viola!

Joan picked up the container of blush and the large, poofy brush. Quickly dabbing it a couple times in the pink stuff, she brushed it on her cheeks. she bit her lip and her eyes widened when she looked at the results in the mirror. The pink not only contrasted badly with her skin, but she'd put WAY too much on. She took a mental note to remember that a little goes a LONG way. Sighing and picking up the blue eye shadow, she untied her white bandana and began searching around the bathroom for something to use as a brush.

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Raph tossed and turned in his hammock. He knew it was early, but he couldn't get back to sleep. His bladder was complaining, majorly, but still he didn't want to go through all the trouble of getting up out of bed and going to the bathroom and taking the chance of full awaking himself a half- hour before he had to. He flopped onto his other side again, scooting under the covers for more warmth. Stupid cold sewers he grumbled mentally.Finally the battle with his bladder became too much of a task to handle while trying to slip back into one's unconscious. Grumbling some more and muttering a curse under his breathe about cold floors and bare feet he slipped out of bed and jogged to the communal family bathroom. Light splayed through the crack underneath the door. Apparently it already had an occupant.

Raph banged the side of his fist against the door."Hey!" He whispered harshly at whoever was inside, "Hurry up in there!"

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Joanny jumped at the sound of Raph's fist against the door. Her heart pounded as his voice growled at her to hurry up."Just a sec!" she said, forgetting to whisper, "I'll be out in a minute!"She threw the rest of the makeup back into the box and began to wipe furiously at her face. Nothing happened. Her eyes widened as she realized the stuff wasn't coming off. She scrubbed harder. Still nothing. Or maybe slightly fading...she didn't have time to wonder.

Raph rapped gruffly on the door again, crossing his legs to hold out for the call of the wild just a little longer, "Joan!" he grunted, "I really need to go!"

"Almost done!" she assured him from inside, reaching over to flush the toilet for effect and then turned on the sink and ran a wad of toilet paper under it. She tried wiping her face with that, but it only made things worse. The eye liner began to run and the lipstick came off for the most part but she'd wiped it across the skin above her lip and it seemed to have temporarily stained there. She wiped harder, but still it wouldn't come off. Frantically she threw the wad of wet paper into the waste basket and whirled around looking for another plan.

"You're done; I'm coming IN!" Raph growled, opening the door as he spoke.

"No wait!" Joanny lunged for the door, taking a split second of time to wish she'd remembered to lock it, but it was too late. The door swung open. Raph stepped inside a frown creasing his face. He glared inside but his expression soon changed. He stood there dumbfounded, staring at her, forgetting his desperate need to be there in the first place.

"Uhh...," Joanny looked up at her brother and tried to smile innocently, "Done!"

To be continued…

A/N: well Joanys in a very bad spot to say the least and Raph is probably less then happy about what hes seen. So lets all hope that Joany is done...before shes actualy done. please review.


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